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Thursday, August 26, 2010

Angry at God


*I apologize for this rambling post; I have a million thoughts racing through my mind.*

My heart is hurting so badly right now. My friend, Patrice, has a beautiful 4 year old daughter, Charlotte. I have mentioned them both in previous posts. Patrice was a great friend while I was living in Boston; truth be told, she was one of my only friends there. Her little girl was diagnosed with stage 4 neuroblastoma in June 2009. Charlotte has been through surgery, chemo, radiation, stem cell infusions, and antibodies treatment this past year. No one should have to go through all of that, much less a 2 year old little girl. Neuroblastoma is a very serious type of cancer. When traces of it are gone, they don't even say the patient is in remission; they give them a label of NED, no evidence of disease. They should just put a tagline of "...right now" on the end of that. Relapse is common, from what I understand. 600 children are affected by this disease every year. A small number compared to some diseases, but it is much too large of a number when you think about the individual kids and their families. The point of this post is that Charlotte has relapsed. She wasn't feeling well a couple of days ago, and a trip to the ER turned into being admitted back onto 6N, which turned into discovering a large tumor in her sinus cavity. I am so angry at God right now. As a Christian, I know there is a reason for everything, but it is so hard to understand why there are so many terrible people out there who are perfectly healthy, when this perfect little girl has been through hell and back and has another ticket there. I want to throw a fit I want to stomp my feet. I want to yell. I want to break things. I want to punch something. But I won't. I will do what I have done for the past 14 months; I will pray for this wonderful family and for the doctors and nurses that are treating Charlotte. I will pray that God will place his hand on her head and comfort her and take away her pain. I will pray for a miracle. I hope you will too.

3 comments:

melanie

I know how difficult this can be, especially when you have little ones of your own. I have been praying for a classmate of Tyler and Emily's who was diagnosed with an inoperable brian tumor. Here is a link to her story
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sophiamohler

I honestly struggle with the same issues of Why? I will pray for Charlotte, and I hope you will add Sophia and her family to your prayers.

Kristin

It is hard to understand - I've been right where you are many times (especially this year) with our precious friend Catie and it just doesn't seem fair!! Jesus decided that he was ready to take Catie back a few months ago - her work here on earth was done but the number of lives that she touched in the 16 years that she was here are amazing - the standing room only at her funeral were evidence of that!
I will keep Charlotte and her family and the doctors in my prayers for sure - I know that sometimes it doesn't make sense to us but there really is a reason for everything and miracles do happen - I hope this is one of those times!
(((hugs)))

The Haines

The hard reality is that we live in a fallen world- plagued by hate and evil and disease. The good news is, this is not our destination.... though God's plans are incomprehensible sometimes, they are bigger and more eternal than we know. I'm so sorry about your friends daughter. I am praying for her now. He is still in the business of miracles every day! We will pray for that!

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